


Porcelain

by makos_lightningrod



Category: Avatar: Legend of Korra
Genre: F/M, Spoilers for book 4
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-20
Updated: 2014-12-26
Packaged: 2018-03-02 07:27:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,226
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2804405
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/makos_lightningrod/pseuds/makos_lightningrod
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He doesn’t really know what he expects when he tells her he’ll follow her anywhere.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Porcelain

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: I needed repercussions between Korra and Mako. And I needed some pre-closure.

He doesn’t really know what he expects when he tells her he’ll follow her anywhere. 

Maybe part of him expects her to say something back. And when he watches her lips move, her words are cut off when she’s pulled away by Ikki and Meelo toward the rest of their party. The light in her blue eyes dims a little, almost as if she’s faced with some decision he can’t comprehend. She always making decisions that take her away from him, and he can’t fault her for that. It’s her duty, her right to be able to heal the way she needs to. But she comes back. She always comes back, and he always ends up back at her side, doing whatever it was she needs.

"Korra," her name slips past his lips, and he’s vaguely happy he didn’t mess it up and call her Avatar Korra, or Avatar, or any other title that put distance between them. Because he hates that distance, he wants to cross the few feet between them and sweep her into his arms, but he isn’t going to put pressure on her because she’s been through so much.

He tells himself he’ll wait.

He wonders if she’ll say something to him before the night is through, but when the lights are blown out and the tablecloths are stained with food ad drink, he remains at his table, twirling a wilted flower between his fingers - trying to ignore the pain in his arm. 

He doesn’t expect the next day to find out from his former princely boss that she’s gone away to the Spirit World with Asami. 

And when she returns nearly a month later, he doesn’t go to welcome her back. He finds himself in the same spot over the last three years when letters have gone unanswered.  
When he’s tried to move on. But here he is, making his way to Air Temple Island at the insistence of his younger brother. When he sees her sitting in the pagoda, his body stiffens.

He stands there and watches her, unbeknownst to her. She looks different. Not in the way that she did after three years - but she seems lighter and carefree. She seems completely opposite of him.

And while he stands there, she seems to sense him and turn, her short hair catching on her shoulder from its month-long growth.

He doesn’t realize he’s been standing there for a good minute when she raises an eyebrow at him and laughs. “Are you going to stand there all day?”

She sounds so happy.

"Sorry," he tells her half-heartedly before taking seven long strides until they’re no more than an arm’s length away from one another. "Hi." It’s a greeting. And then he follows through with a hug that doesn’t seem to linger like their other embraces in the past, but he moves past it without much dwelling. "Welcome back." He wants to add again but thinks that’s a little too harsh. 

And the last thing he wants to do is lash out at her.

But then it ends up happening when they’re sitting together, having a cup of tea. He watches her take slow sips and the steam rises form his cup - whether it’s from the actually temperature of the tea or from the heat radiating from his fingertips, he doesn’t know.

He just knows that he’s sitting here, listening to sparrowkeets chirping.

"This is ridiculous," he says under his breath, prompting a look from her.

"What?" He exhales at her innocent question and shakes his head.

"Mako, what is it?" She sounds curious and he shakes his head again, taking a sip.

But she doesn’t leave it alone. She badgers. And he ends up slamming his cup down on the wooden table, making the china shake.

He tells himself over and over that he’ll be patient - that he will wait.

He doesn’t know why he does that.

He’s a firebender for Avatar’s sake.

"Is this how this is going to be?" He asks, staring at her. "Are you always going to go off whenever you want and come whenever you want? Are we going to act like we saw each other yesterday when it’s been a month-" He stiffens.

"-three years? With so much as a letter?"

She purses her lips and he waits. He doesn’t know how long he’ll wait, but he waits right then.

"I thought we were past this," she tells him and he exhales slowly.

"We are-" he runs a hand through his hair, messing up the strands before he continues, "I have no right to be upset, but I thought…I thought at least we were friends, Korra."

He wants more than that, but he’ll take anything he can get at this point because a life without Korra in it…a life without her laugh, and her temper, and the way she always turns him into a mess was no life at all. “Friends write…Friends don’t just leave whenever they want.”

"Mako-" She purses her lips again and he knows she’s trying to find the right thing to say, but he doesn’t want her to think about it. He just wants her to say what she wants to say or else he will never know anything about her.

"You just left."

They fall silent and he finally gets up. “And I guess that’s what you do now.”

He knows it’s a low blow.

"Hey, a lot’s happened in the last three years. I thought you understood that. I thought we were okay," she said, getting up and following after him. He notices her footsteps are firm and short - she’s angry.

He feels sick and tired of this.

He feels sick and tired of her waiting to realize this.

"You just left without any consideration of anything you left behind."

She grabs his arm and makes him look at her. “You said you understood why I was gone for so long.”

"I’m not talking about that anymore." He feels like his head is full of steam and that he’s going to say plenty of things he’ll regret - but at least she’ll know those things, too and he’s not thinking of them every night.

"You just left Republic City and everything that happened behind to go on a vacation with Asami. And you didn’t even tell anyone. I had to learn it from Prince Wu where you had gone," he answered her, flexing his fingers at his sides.

Her eyes narrow and she steps in front of him. “I didn’t abandon it. I know I’m the Avatar, but Asami needed me. She just lost her dad. And we just…we just needed to be somewhere else for a while. I needed a break.”

She doesn’t get it. “Do you have any idea what it feels like to know that Bolin or I aren’t important enough to you that you can’t tell us anything anymore? We were Team Avatar. And now…what are we?”

Korra falls silent. “We’re…We’re friends.”

"No, we aren’t."

Her eyes widen. “Mako…” She bites her lip then and drops her hand from his arm. “Mako…I’m sorry. I-I’m so sorry.”

Her apology shakes against her lips and he feels the strong urge to do something he’ll regret. He pushes it away and his shoulders seem to fall. “I know Asami was going through a lot. And I know…that she’s your best friend, but did you even stop to think about your other friends?” He bites his tongue when he wants to add, ‘Did you ever stop to think about me?’

"I didn’t think you needed me…" Her words die off as if she doesn’t know how to end that sentence.

"But I did need you, Korra."

He reaches toward her face and hesitates. His finger pushes a strand of hair away from her eyes. His arm falls to his side.

"It’s you who doesn’t need me."

He turns and leaves before he loses his mind.


	2. Leave It Behind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One day turns into two days. Two days turns into a week. And then a week turns into two. Less than a month passes since she last hears from him. She tries to tell herself that he’s busy - that the reason she hasn’t been able to confront him about the last month is because he has a lot to do.

One day turns into two days. Two days turns into a week. And then a week turns into two. Less than a month passes since she last hears from him. She tries to tell herself that he’s busy - that the reason she hasn’t been able to confront him about the last month is because he has a lot to do. Now that Lin is finally retiring from the police force, she’s leaving the rebuilding project to him. So she reminds herself that maybe he’s seeing to it that everyone who lost their home is well-fed and taken care of. Because he’s a good man.

Then she remembers the last words that fell from his lips and she feels a sudden ache in her temple. She turns over in her bed and closes her eyes, sighing. While the afternoon sun peers through the blinds of her window, she still feels like it’s barely six in the early hours. After all, the morning is evil.

She doesn’t know why today is anything different than yesterday, but maybe it’s the thought that if she doesn’t do something now, then tomorrow will be the same as every day that past month that gets her to roll out of bed and pull on her clothes. She finds herself at his apartment door, knowing he isn’t home but still itching to go inside because maybe it will reveal some answer to her questions she can’t fathom into words.

She lets herself in and looks around the living room. It doesn’t look much more lived in then the time she had been here three years ago, and she glances at the Fire Ferrets banner pinned to the wall and the worn couch nearby. She wonders when the last time he came home at all because the picture of them at the Glacier Spirits Festival hasn’t been banished to the trash can.

Her figure hovers above his desk and she can’t help but pass her fingers over the mess that he’s left behind - which surprises her since he’s a man completely opposite of disarray. A few carbon copies of tickets he’s written. A handful of letters from Wu and his family in the Earth Provinces. She picks up a piece of paper with some mumbo jumbo wording that she can’t wrap her head around. It all seems extraordinarily ordinary and what she would expect, but the one little thing that bothers her is that photo.

It feels like so long ago that the pair of them were in the Southern Water Tribe and Bolin was trying to see just how big an arctic hen he could fit into his mouth without choking. She almost feels immature thinking about a time when she was so happy - when she could remember just being a normal girl.

“How did you get in here?” She stiffens and immediately drops the photograph back onto the pile of papers strewn on the desk. It doesn’t seem like she could give a proper nor legitimate explanation as to why she’s in her ex’s apartment. But then a wave of defiance washes over her and she finds herself turning around with her fists curled against her hips. 

Defenses pile up on her lips, but the puff of breath that escapes instead shocks her as well as him. Lines mark the undersides of his eyes, yellow purple skin points to late nights. He’s been working hard to put the city he loves to rights again, and she has no right to barge in and disturb the only peace he has left.

“I let myself in,” she doesn’t really answer the question, but she also doesn’t throw the first punch. “Why do you still have this?” She picks up the photograph and waves it towards his eyes. It’s bent on the edges, worn along one side, and she wonders where it’s been to have such a history told on its skin.

His shoulders slump, and she can’t read if its in defeat or from tiredness. “Why do you think I’d get rid of it, Korra?” 

It’s mildly pleasing that he isn’t back to calling her Avatar or Avatar Korra. The formality of either would hint that he was trying to distance himself from their friendship.

Or whatever shred of friendship is left by a thread.

“I don’t know,” she says honestly, recalling their confrontation from weeks ago. The sting from it still lingers in her chest and she tries to ignore it, but looking at him now makes it simply impossible. “That’s why I asked you.” Her tone is cool and calm - as if she’s the one in control of the situation and ideally, she is. But she knows that deep down, she lacks any control right now.

“Why are you here?” He dodges her question with another question - more relevant to the situation than what she really wants to know. Because he’s tired and exhausted and the last thing he wants to do is get into another fight with her. But this time, he has nowhere to exactly turn his back to her and leave to - his apartment is his only solace. Though, he should really learn to change the locks…

“I’m here because I’m tired of you not talking to me,” she says, crossing her arms over her chest. He sees the flare of defiance in her angled brows and her glinting eyes, but even in exhaustion that’s threatening to take him over, he fixes his posture and gives her a response reminiscent of their last encounter.

“Maybe that wouldn’t have been a problem if you bothered to say hello once in the three years you were gone, Korra.” Her name is disdain on his lips and she finds her jaw going slightly slack that he would really bring this up again - after everything that’s happened, even after he told her it was all right.

She swallows and excuses flit through her eyes, but she just drops the photograph back on his desk. There is no excuse for what she did besides the fear that ate away at her for the three years she was away. It was that fear that spurred her onto traveling through the Earth Kingdom, seeking punishment instead of answers to how she could truly heal herself.

“Maybe you should just tell me the problem instead of hinting around it,” Korra growls at him. She can feel her temper boiling below the surface, and soon there will be no stopping the harsh words. She may have grown in the three years she was gone, but that doesn’t mean she’s perfect.

“Maybe you should think about what I’m telling you, Korra! Just think about how it would feel if your best friend ignored you for the past three years and then came back and acted like absolutely nothing was wrong!” His temper snaps, and she realizes she’s the only one that ever seems to push him that far, so easily.

And then she realizes he calls her his best friend.

A long moment passes between the two of them and she can’t help but run her finger over the edge of his desk, shifting the worn photograph further onto the wood. “I know I keep leaving,” she says, her words lacking the steam that was present moments ago. “But it never meant that I was leaving you behind. You or Bolin.”

He shakes his head and sighs. “You don’t understand,” he says. “How many times are you going to say that you’re sorry about what happened before you realize that you’re apologizing for the wrong reasons?” He pulls his jacket off and she stares at the way his vest seems to contour to his torso. Despite his ragged exterior, being a police officer and a bodyguard has only made him physically stronger.

She loses her train of thought for a moment and hastily shakes her head. “So tell me what are the right reasons? Do you really think that when I was gone, I never thought about you? You have no idea how many letters I started and how many are still in my bedroom, completely unfinished and idiotic. I had no idea what to say to you, Mako. Things were hard. I just…Asami understood things more. I thought she could understand more than you or Bolin. It was just…easier to talk to her.”

“I know, I know that,” he says as he runs a hand through his hair, messing up the dark strands and looking upset with himself and not her anymore. “But you-I-we-I had no idea where you were, what was happening, and then your dad came without you, and I just-” He stops and lets out a deep breath. “You’re the Avatar, Korra, and I know that you can’t just leave the world to deal with its own problems, but I just-”

His words fall everywhere with no meaning that he could pick up and piece together because he has no right reasons she needs to apologize for. The fear just keeps his heart clamped under lock and key. Because what if the next time she leaves, she never comes back? What if the next time she leaves, he doesn’t get to tell her he loves her, would always love her, and even if she doesn’t love him back, he’ll always have her back?

“I want to be able to help you. Because if I couldn’t, I could never forgive myself.” She hears the lackluster conviction in his voice and she wonders whether or not she’s hearing the truth. He stutters over his words and she knows by now that if he trips over them, he has no idea what he’s saying.

“I know that I keep leaving. I don’t know why I keep leaving, Mako. I just…I just do. I’m the Avatar and I’m going to have to leave all the time to go where I’m needed. I can’t stay here forever.” Despite the somberness of the current situation, the words are painted with some smugness and certitude that she is who she is. The Avatar. “But you’re wrong. About what you said the other day.”

She swallows. “I do need you. I need you and Bolin and Asami. I need all of you.” She knows it’s not what he wants to hear - that he wants to hear something more sentimental - but she’s horribly, horribly bad at expressing something like this. But she pushes on and hopes that what she says….what she means is what he wants to hear. “I have no idea how I could have gotten here if it wasn’t for you,” she whispers. “You’re my best friend, too, Mako.”

He looks up from under the messy strands of his hair, peering at her with his mouth open in surprise because he had never expected to hear her say those words to him. Her best friend, he can still remember her telling him, was a polarbeardog, but maybe now she had room enough in her heart for more than just Naga.

“Korra-” And this time her name isn’t derision and disgust, but pure awe and wonder. “You don’t need to leave us behind next time. We’ll always follow you anywhere.”

She can’t help but glance back down at the picture that is one of the happiest memories of her life as she whispers, “I won’t leave you behind again, Mako.”


End file.
